Tim Cusack's Blog
Tag Archives: mindfulness

DEATH, THE GREAT MOTIVATOR

 

Life is Short

“Some people die at age 25 & aren’t buried until 75.”  Benjamin Franklin

Are you shocked? You shouldn’t be…..for two reasons: 1.) I write about ideas like this; 2.) You ARE going to die.

Why don’t we use death more as a motivator? It’s the ultimate energizer. It’s the one thing that is for sure. You can’t rely on any other aspect of life that is a 100% guarantee beside death.

Don’t deny it. Use it to your advantage. If you believe in God, you’re good, and you ask for your sins to be forgiven, then you have heaven waiting after you die. But, once again – NO GUARANTEES you’ll get in!! Let’s say you do get the green light, and God is standing next to you watching a replay of your life. Do you think you’ll see a few missed opportunities? Could you have had more laughs, enjoyed family and friends more, played with your kids, your dog or cat, a little more? Could you have gotten a little crazier at times (not in sinful ways), just wilder. Could you have helped more people, especially those you didn’t know? God loves that!

Let’s say you don’t believe in God, and there’s no afterlife – nothing. You believe life is a one-shot deal. One and done. Painful, like March Madness. You atheists should really be living it up. I don’t mean in a nasty, mean way like robbing a bank, stealing a car, or running people over, because your one and done will be spent in prison. I mean going ballistic with adventure!

Buddhists, you get to come back.

All of us can use death as a motivator to be more spontaneous, more fabulous, more out there. To remind each other of how precious life is, we can change our parting words such as: “See you later,” or “Take care,” or “Nice seeing you.” Why don’t we enhance and motivate by reminding each other that life is short. Our parting words could be, “Remember you could be dead soon,” or “Death is forever,” or maybe “I hope you have a peaceful death.” “Thanks, good seeing you too, and thanks for the reminder.”

In the book, Tuesdays with Morrie, Morrie says, “Our Culture doesn’t encourage us to think about such things (death) until you’re about to die. We’re wrapped up in egotistical things: career, money, cars, trillions of little high-jacks. When do you take time to stand back and really look at your life? Ask – Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing? Who knows, maybe you will begin to live your life – the one you want. Maybe you’ll become happier, healthier, more…what?” Motivated.

P.S. No fish were injured or mistreated in this post.

I Dare You to Give This Gift

Sharing Love

Sharing Love

I love “Funeral Talk.”   You know, those lovely words we share about the person we care enough of to show up at their funeral and say: He was so great. She always had a smile. He was so fun to be around. She would do anything for you.

Here’s the ‘DARE’ gift – tell the person that you appreciate what they mean to you while they’re still ALIVE! Not only are you giving them a gift of purpose, meaning, and significance; you’re also incorporating what Viktor Frankl’s calls “logotherapy.”

In “Man’s search for Meaning in Life,” Viktor Frankl says, “It’s inherently human to crave knowing we’ve made a difference. By telling those in your life the difference they’ve made, you’ve fed one of the most essential needs of the human spirit.” Not only does this benefit those you share with, but you’re strengthening your own emotional capability.

A few days ago, I held the hand of my neighbor, Julie, who has been a blessing to me and my family for 17 years. I knew she was close to death, so I spoke to her from my heart. I told her, “If I straighten up my act, we’ll be neighbors again sometime.” She smiled, and left earth the next day. I’m still here with my memories, knowing I told her the difference she made in my life. I dared myself to tell her, so I could live without regrets.

Brené Brown is in the Top 10 TED talks with over 17 million hits. Why? Because Brené touches a very sensitive nerve when she broaches the topic of shame and vulnerability. She would say that we struggle with vulnerability because our shame of being vulnerable inhibits us from telling those in our life what they mean to us.

Instead, Brené says, “We numb those emotions with food, material goods, drugs – anything to avoid being emotionally vulnerable.”

So I DARE YOU this holiday season (or any season) to give a priceless gift, one of ultimate vulnerability and meaning. Tell the people in your life the difference they’ve made. Tell them their importance to you, and the role they play in your life. By doing so, you’re giving two gifts: one to them and one to yourself.

Pass this post on to someone, if you think it would help you say the words you need to say.

THE MYSTERY OF SYNCHRONICITY

Synchronicity

Crane Holds Moon

I suppose synchronicity has been around as long as people have, but it wasn’t until the 1950’s when Carl Jung, the famous psychologist, shed light on this curious phenomenon. And of course the 80’s band, The Police, tuned into it’s vibe naming their famous album after the word.

A common definition of synchronicity is: The simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related, but have no discernible causal connection.

A common example of this could be when we’re thinking about a person and within seconds they call us. More uncommon would be this story a friend recently related to me. While visiting New York City, he was sitting in a coffee shop and calls a friend to arrange a meeting. At the very moment of his call to her, she says to him, “I’m right outside looking at you through the window.” Out of hundreds of coffee shops and a population of eight million people, they are in the same place at the very same moment. Synchronicity?

Carl Jung said, “The more aware we are of our surroundings, the more likely it (synchronicity) will occur. It also tends to happen more around times of birth, death, falling in or out of love, turning points, personal crises, or just being more open.

So, what’s the point? Maybe a moment of synchronicity is just that, a moment that seems amazing, wild or weird. Maybe it’s the quantum theory of the universe trying to connect with you. Or, bigger yet, it’s God putting a sign out for you to read; one that you’ve been asking for.  The next time you experience one of these occurrences, stop and wonder to yourself what this flash of synchronicity could mean for you.

Whatever way you want to interpret them, at least enjoy the mystery of the moments of synchronicity that come your way.

My Five Step Commencement Address for All of Us

Diplomas of Life

Diplomas of Life

I know a “commencement address” can be cliche, but if you could find space in your heart to listen to people older than you, you may discover it benefits your soul and your mind.

  1. It’s okay to STOP, and enjoy spontaneous interactions and conversations with people – totally unplanned, unrehearsed and without an agenda. These interactions are some of the most memorable and life enhancing.
  2. Don’t waste mental energy on what others think about you. Most likely no one is talking or thinking about you. People are extremely busy worrying about their own lives and drama.
  3. Try sometime to just listen to someone without judgment or opinion, with good eye contact, head nods and an occasional ‘wow’ or ‘really’ or ‘tell me more about that.” If you listen, you’ll hear the human condition.
  4. Be mindful and have fun. Enjoy each day. Enjoy eating and drinking. Enjoy exercise. Enjoy shopping or whatever it is you’re doing.
  5. It’s natural to think about death. It compels you to think about your current life, what you’re doing with it and where you are going.

Enjoy your musings and wonderment on the meaning of life. You will visit this frequently. Go forth and be good people. If I don’t see you before, I’ll see you on the other side.

Amen,
Tim

“Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree.” Marian Wright Edelman

 

Driving Down the Road of Life

Driving Down The Road of Life

If you were to pretend that your life is like a car, who’s driving it? Some people may have negative responses, say, “No one is – it’s in the ditch.” or “It’s sitting in the garage and won’t start.” Conversely, some may respond enthusiastically with “I’m flying down the highway at 85 mph with the top down, and the music cranked. I’m having a blast!”

How can the response to this question be so polarized? Well, because we are such emotional beings. To help you with your ’emotional’ driving skills, here are three quick tips from Dr. Rick Hansen, Ph.D., author of “Just One thing” and “The Buddha’s Brain.” Dr. Hanson has a three-step process for enhancing joy, pleasure and appreciation in life – kind of like how it feels to fly down the road at 85 mph with the top down.

Step 1 – Notice or create a positive experience. Perhaps you’re at the grocery store. You’re walking down the aisle, and you see someone pull a box of cereal off the shelf. Instead of one box, three tumble onto the floor. In that moment of potential embarrassment another person helps pick-up the boxes. [Notice the care, the concern, the helpfulness. Or you can be that person who comes to help.]
Step 2 – Stay with the experience. Be with it, let it last for a few seconds – the longer the better.
Step 3 – Absorb the positive experience, paying attention to what is good, to the beauty of the moment. Absorb the compassion of someone helping another person. It’s simple but not easy.

Dr. Hanson calls this Vitamin C for your brain. Don’t waste it.

The next time you’re driving down the road of life (assuming you’ve made it out of the garage), keep your eyes on the road but take the time to absorb positive experiences that come your way.